Author: Dare Rosebery – Chief Experience Officer, EBW Worldwide
People often navigate their lives by activity-based goals, situational desires, and trying to make things work. We may start out in life doing things and gaining skills because our parents encourage us, because we measure ourselves against goals our friends are pursuing, or because we think we can make a lot of money, or because society rewards activity, or insert a reason here.
Doing-based identity
We find ourselves chugging along on a doing track, and we let the things we are doing begin to define our identity. Our capability becomes limited by skills, lack of a skill or what we think we might not be able to do. We may even compare ourselves to others and the lives they are leading.
Wishing we didn’t have to do the same old day in the same old way, we may start hitting the snooze button. Instead of making some changes, we may let the fear of the unknown, self-doubt, circumstances or people from the past limit who we can become.
If you look in the rear view mirror, is it possible to change anything you can see in it?
There is only one thing you can change – YOU. Who you see at the wheel can alter her future at any moment. Who you are and who you can become is fully within your control.
Being-based development
Becoming your best you could start by asking yourself: Who am I? To answer, try listing nouns and adjectives that describe who you are. Then take those words and fill in because of this I…. Think about who you are in life and how you show up with others. Now ask yourself, why?
Reflecting on these prompts, could give you a place to begin discovering your Purpose, a journey that may require time and diving deeper and/or asking “why?” several time for various attributes.
Looking inside will also help you to become aware of who you are in other aspects and to understand how you impact the people around you. Confidence wholly based on skills – what we do – leaves us vulnerable to being shaken by external things we cannot control.
When you understand your Purpose – the reason you are here for the benefit of others – you can get on a being-based development path. Be a person who feels successful and is successful before you do anything. You will naturally perform at higher levels, because you are being you and living out gifts that are unique to you. When you have the courage to become a better you, you will have greater success in all you want to do. Nobody can be a better you than you.
As an internal north star, Purpose guides decisions rooted in who we are, reminds us of who we are not, and keeps us on a path where there is more success than failure and fulfillment in place of fear. Purpose fuels our ability to become the best versions of ourselves.
Developing who you are is a dynamic, life-long journey. Our lives follow our thinking. Leader EQ articles are designed to discover and explore ways we can become better leaders of ourselves and thus better leaders for others.
Photo attribution: Jojo – Pexels
