Author: Erna Telalovic

Recently, we moved to Dubai, UAE, and like every big change in life, this one hit me hard. Even though I was excited to have the opportunity to live abroad, work on business development, and also have a chance to focus on my personal growth, there was still a fear of the unknown.

My biggest fear was for my children. I wanted to organize everything for them so they wouldn’t feel the change and would feel as comfortable as they did at home.

Usually, in stressful situations, we revert to our old habits. We develop patterns inherited from family and begin acting in accordance with familiar and proven methods.

I noticed this when I started unpacking our suitcases with my daughter. She is almost 9, and she will be starting 3rd grade in a new school. Finally, she will have her own room, and I instinctively tried to help her recreate the same surroundings we had back home.

She was trying to sort out her stuff, and I helped her by suggesting: ‘You can put your T-shirts here, hangup all your nice dresses for school, and we can add some pillows to your bed.’ Then, I noticed how she rolled her eyes.

At that moment, I realized how we sometimes think we are being helpful, but we’re only giving instructions, leaving no room for creativity or improvement. We think it’s the best, safest way to get things in order. It’s how we were raised—to give instructions and organize things for others. I had always been proud of my ability to organize, whether it was events, parties, competitions, or conferences until my nine-year-old rolled her eyes at me.

Then I understood that maybe she didn’t want the same environment we had back home. She is growing up, changing schools, and now has her own room. She wants to take control of her life. No matter how hard it is, we have to let go.

So I asked her, “How would you do it? What do you think?” Her mood changed, and she started communicating with me, sharing her thoughts and feelings. She suggested we put all her most shining bags beneath the TV so everyone can see them, and so she can pick a different bag every day. I might have hidden them, but her logic made sense, she would use them much often than before.

This experience made me reflect on leadership. The same principles apply to our employees. The key difference between leading and managing isn’t just about good organization, usually accompanied by clear instructions, but in supporting their ideas that lead to results. In the end, the written path may guide us safely, but there are different paths that can still lead to the same or even better results.

It’s about how we deal with our personal fears of change and the unknown, and whether we can resist the instinct to stick with what we know or if we are ready to learn new things.

Leader EQ articles are designed to help us discover and explore ways to become better leaders of ourselves and, thus better leaders for our families.

Erna Telalovic, Vice President of Operations, . ATN Logistics, LLC is located in Sarajevo, Bosnia, and Herzegovia with offices in Dubai and the United States. The Executive Team of ATN recently started a Leader Development journey as a benefit of their EBW.ONE Corporate membership.

Photo attribution: Cottonbro – Pexels